Preached in Markham Baptist Church, June 25, 2006

What is your favorite time of the year?  Anyone here love the summer?  I love the summer.  I love the chance to be outside and do things without having to wear my parka and snowshoes!  But I especially like the length of the days, to be able to sit out and enjoy the sunset and then sit and watch the stars is one of the blessings of the summer.  Well, this morning I want to start a series which will hopefully give you something to think about and act on during these summer months the series is entitled, Questions to Ponder on a Long Summer’s Night.  I picture you sitting in your lawn chair with your friends and discussing some of the things that are raised during this series. And the first question I want to address today is, “Why doesn’t God give me what I pray for?”

When we read Scripture we discover assurance after assurance that our prayers will be answered. 

“Luke 11:9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

John 15:7 “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you.”

Isaiah 58:9 Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.  “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk.”

Isaiah 65:24 “Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.”

Hebrews 4:14 “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess …”

and then also Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

We can enter God’s presence with confidence.  We need not hesitate to approach Him in prayer and ASK.  He commands us to ask; He wants us to ask – as a parent wants their children to ask – so we are to approach Him and ask with the confidence that we will be heard and we will receive.

But there are times when our prayers seem to go unanswered.  Maybe you have found yourself in a very difficult situation and everything seems dark and there is not the faintest glimmer of light for you, and you’ve been driven to your knees in prayer.  But each day the burden has weighed more heavily on you and you wonder if you ever are going to be free – and a pious friend says to you, “Why don’t you pray about it?”  And you think, “Pray???? I have been on my knees for months what good has it done? Things don’t get better, they get worse. God is not listening to me!” 

And we give up on prayer and shake our heads and roll our eyes at those who continue to pray.  If that has been your situation or is your situation, this sermon is for you.  And I hope that you gain a new confidence in prayer, a fresh desire to come to God in prayer and to trust Him with your burdens, concerns and worries.

In spite of all the promises we have from God that He will answer our prayers, why doesn’t God give me what I pray for?

Now I want to make it clear that we must beware of formulas when it comes to prayer.  Prayer is a conversation. It is fellowship with God, it is intimacy with God.  It comes out of a relationship with God. We are not to treat God like a vending machine where we pay the price of praying and then the candy that we wanted falls from heaven.  Prayer is much more significant than that. 

Charles Price tells a story which he says is true. It is a story about a 3-year-old boy who entered the grocery store with his mother.  Before they went into the store his mother said to him, “Now you are not going to get any chocolate chip cookies today, so don’t even ask.”  She put him in the cart and began to pick up all the groceries she was there to get.  The boy was quiet at first but eventually he piped up and said, “Mom, can I have some chocolate chip cookies?”  And she said, “I told you don’t even ask.  You are not going to get any today.”  He went quiet again.  They went down another aisle or two and the boy again got the courage to ask, “Mom can I please have some chocolate chip cookies?”  She said, “I told you no. Be quiet.”

Finally they were approaching the check-out line and the boy thought this was going to be his last opportunity so this time he decided to use his loud voice and he asked, “In the name of Jesus give me some chocolate chip cookies!” 

It’s a true story, and people were amused and gathered around and the story is that the mother left the store with 23 boxes of chocolate chip cookies that everyone else had bought for the little boy!

Sometimes we think there is a magic formula, a special stance that we must use in order to get our prayers answered.  But that’s not true.  Prayer is not a formula but a relationship. 

Having said that, Scripture makes it clear that there are certain things that are required of us when we pray and these things, indeed, affect the outcome of our prayers. 

I liken it to sailing.  You can talk about sailing all you like but it’s not until you get into the boat, push out into the water, and set the sail that you will catch the wind.  You cannot control the direction of the wind, or the power of the wind, it is sovereign in the sailing case, but you can set your sail to be ready to catch the wind when it blows. 

So we come to the book of James and turn to it to help us address the question, Why doesn’t God give me what I pray for. As we read this book we discover several reasons.  The first is found in chapter 1:1-5.

Isn’t God good?  God gives generously to all without finding fault.  What  a wonderful passage to meditate on and celebrate.  God isn’t like an insurance company where we pay the premium of prayer and piety and good works and worship and then expect a reward. Rather, He is like a loving parent who is deeply concerned for His children and gives generously to them. 

Then notice verse 6.  “BUT”.  Notice that word.  It’s important.  – here comes the condition.  “But when he asks, he must not believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” 

So the first reason we are given – Why doesn’t God give me what I pray for?  It may be that you don’t believe that God can do what you are asking.  It may be that you don’t believe that God listens to your prayers, sure, He is like a heavenly parent but you are like the poor middle child who no one ever listens to because you aren’t the firstborn and you aren’t cute like the last born.  So maybe you don’t receive because you don’t believe you will receive.

Now, don’t get to thinking that you have to muster up the faith the size of a mountain before you pray – Jesus said, when speaking about faith, it need only be the size of a mustard seed.  It needs only be that big, but it does have to be present. 

You know that an arrow that is only drawn a little way doesn’t go very far, but if it is pulled back to one’s nose it flies swiftly and pierces deep.  So with prayer, if it is only dribbled from careless lips, it falls at our feet. It is the strength of desire and faith which sends it to God’s heart. 

So how do we overcome this hindrance?  May I suggest that you spend time reading Scripture with the view of looking for the faithfulness of God.  Read the story of Joseph perhaps in the book of Genesis.  What a great story describing how God made promises to Joseph through a series of dreams and how he fulfilled them all for God’s glory.   Or read through the book of Psalms and see again the majesty of God, the power of God and the complete otherness of God and know that God is greater than your problems, that He is stronger than the forces that oppose you and see if your faith in the person of God does not become strengthened so that you are able to pray a little more boldly and confidently. 

Another way to pray in faith is to remember all the answers to prayer that you have received in the past.  Think of all the ways that God has been faithful to you.  Think of all the times you have uttered that little prayer, “God help me find my keys.”  And how God has been faithful in that.  Or how He was faithful to you in the midst of sickness, or your wanting to share your faith and He opened the door.  And as you do that, see if your faith is not again strengthened and deepened.

Why doesn’t God give me what I pray for?  Perhaps you are asking without faith.  You pray for people to change, but at the same time you say, “They’ll never change, they’ll always be hardhearted.”  No, no, no! Ask and it shall be given to you. 

One of the saddest passages in all of the Bible is written about Jesus’ own home town, Nazareth, it says that He could not perform many miracles there because of their lack of faith.  We need to pray in faith.

Well, we turn the page over to chapter 4 of the book of James and we discover another reason why our prayers sometimes go unanswered.  Chapter 4 verse 1 and 2.

Well that’s fairly obvious – you do not have, because you do not ask.  I’m not going to spend too much time on this – except to ask that you think about it.  I am struck by how many times I have expressed a need to my mentor and he has asked me, “Well have you prayed about it?”  And I ashamedly have said, “No.”  It’s pretty simple, you don’t have because you don’t ask. We have to ask.

Let’s go on, verse 3 – “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” 

So the third hindrance to answered prayer we see here is selfishness.  Perhaps what we are asking is for our glory and not God’s glory and we have to realize that God will never answer such a prayer.  He desires to be glorified. 

Or maybe we have a different kind of selfishness – and that is a desire to avoid hard work.  This is one area in which God is convicting me in during these past few months.  Let me explain the situation. I have been praying for a number of people to know the love of Jesus Christ in their lives.  I have been praying, “Lord lead such and such to a relationship with You – open their eyes and  their heart to Your grace and may they know Your saving grace in their lives.”  But as I look at the list in my prayer journal, that list isn’t shrinking.  And God has been asking me, “What are you doing about it?”  And I reply, “What am I doing about it?”  

“Yeah, what you are doing about it?”

“What do you mean what am I doing about it? I’m pastoring a church, I’m encouraging the Alpha leaders and the people of Markham Baptist week after week.  What do you mean what am I doing about it?  Look at all that I am doing?”

And God is saying, “No, Tom, what are you doing about it?” 

“I’m praying.”

“Yes, I know you are praying, that’s good and essential but what are you doing about it?”

“I’m trusting you fully with the situation, that you will bring about change in the person’s life and you will get all the glory.”

“I see, that too is a good sentiment. But have you ever thought, Tom, that perhaps you would be the means through which I am able to open people’s eyes and they see My grace?”

“I am praying.”

“I know.  Good. But have you called them, have you had coffee with them, developed a relationship with them so that you can be the means through which the eyes of the blind are opened?  Or are you avoiding doing the hard work while you sit in your comfortable office?” 

“I see.”

“Do you see?  Prayer and our own efforts must be combined.  We have no business praying for others to be saved if we are unwilling to invest ourselves in their lives.”

We have no business praying for a healed marriage relationship if we are unwilling to take the step of reconciliation and say, “I’m sorry.” We have no business praying for revival in the lives of others if we are not willing to let revival come to our own lives.  We have no business praying for more people to join us here at Markham Baptist Church if we are unwilling to include them in the life of our church and allow them into our own personal lives.

The great preacher from England, Charles Spurgeon once said, “Pray to God but keep the hammer going.”

And it’s been said of missionary Hudson Taylor that he prayed about things as if everything depended upon the praying … but he worked also as if everything depended on the working.

How do we overcome this selfishness?  Well, be prepared to be the vehicle through which God answers your prayers.  Be prepared to do the hard work that you are asking God to do.

And then this. Read verse 4 through 6 that basically says be aware of selfishness.  It is not the way of God.

And then verse 7: “Submit yourselves, then, to God.”

That’s how you avoid selfishness in your prayers.  Submit to God.  Come near to Him, be honest and confess your selfishness to Him.  Perhaps you don’t know if your request is selfish so say to God, “Lord I don’t know if I have a right to ask this.  I don’t know how I should pray about it.  But I bring it to you and if you’ll tell me how to pray, I’ll pray your way.” 

Jesus, on the night of his crucifixion, asked His heavenly father to take the cup of suffering away from Him – but He prayed through that request and ended His prayer with the words, “Your will be done.”  And that’s the model for us.  “Lord purify me so that I truly may say from my heart, your will be done,” and you will find that all selfishness will vanish from your prayers.

And while verses 7 through 10 give us the solution to selfishness, don’t they point us to one last hindrance to answered prayer?  And that is the harbouring of sin in our lives.  I’m not suggesting that we have to become sinless before God will answer our prayers.  That will never happen.  But what I am suggesting is that if we cherish some sin, if we participate in some sin, if we allow some sin to become so rationalized in our thinking so that we no longer think it a sin God will not listen to our prayers.

Listen to Isaiah 59:1,2 - “Surely the arm of the lord is not too short to save, nor his ear to dull to hear.  But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will hear.”

So do you hear the duality of these verses?  Isaiah admits first what we all know, that God is able to hear even the weakest sinner’s prayer.  He is able to save all those who are lost in the pit of sin. But sin hinders prayer.

How do we overcome this hindrance?  We submit ourselves to God, come near to God desiring His spirit to convict and cleanse us, we repent of our sin and ask God to create in us a pure heart. 

Humble yourself before the Lord, James says, and He will lift you up.

Why doesn’t God give me what I pray for?  Perhaps it because you really don’t believe that God will or can give what you have asked for, perhaps you have asked with wrong motives, out of selfishness, seeking to avoid some task, or perhaps there is some sin in your life that needs to be confessed and repented of.

There is only this left to say and that is to ask, is there really such a thing as unanswered prayer?  Sometimes God answers our prayers with an affirmative, yes.  In Psalm 66:19 and 20 we read: “… God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.  Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me.”

Sometimes, God answers our prayer with a no.  We read in 2 Corinthians 12 that Paul prays three times that a thorn in the flesh, a physical ailment that hinders his missionary work, be removed – but his request is refused. 

What we must realize then is that God is our loving heavenly Father and while He says no, He may be saying yes to our deeper needs. 

Augustine was a great Christian thinker and believer of the early church.  But before he became a Christian he lead the wild life and his mother prayed constantly for him.  Once he was to leave his home and set sail for Italy.  His mother prayed and prayed that he not be able to go and thus leave her Christian influence.  But he went, the trip was available and he was able.  He sailed to Italy and while there he met a wonderful Christian man by the name of Ambrose who so influenced Augustine that he became a Christian.  Augustine’s mother prayed that he not be able to leave for Italy - her prayer was denied, but the need for her son was granted. 

So with Paul, his thorn is not removed but God does give him the grace and thus he has strength to meet life’s demands.  God did not say yes to Paul’s petition, but He did answer Paul directly. 

Sometimes God answers us with “wait”.  All may be right with the request but we just aren’t ready to receive it.  For nearly two thousand years the church has prayed to God that His kingdom would come.  God has never said no to that request and He hasn’t said yes, but He has said wait.  And often He says wait to us and we need to be persistent in our prayer.  Some things God cannot give us until we are ready for them.  Prayer as a spiritual discipline makes us ready, it prepares us spiritually for the purposes God has for us. 

I want you to consider that if God has not answered your prayer, that it is not a sign for you to give up praying – but rather it may be just His way of saying that He is going to take over, going to stride beyond our limited horizons and write a chapter in our lives that we have never dreamed of. 

Well I don’t know where each of you are at in your prayer life.  I do know that we as a church need to be in prayer for one another and for the world in which we live.  James will say later in chapter 5 that the prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.  My friends we have been made righteous through faith in Christ – so let us believe that God is able, let us put aside selfish desires, and let us confess our sin and pray, pray, pray. 

Amen.

Copyright MBC and Tom Cullen - June 2006

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